


I'm Alright

by Cinnamohm_roll



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: M/M, VanOhm, brief mentions of some of the other guys, mostly just fluff stuff with a little bit of angst and a little bit of kinda smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-03-02 21:39:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamohm_roll/pseuds/Cinnamohm_roll
Summary: The stresses of YouTube and his music eventually begin to take their toll on Evan and his saving grace comes in the form of a masked gamer.Will get a bit more explicit later on





	1. Unexpected Guest

It was around 2 am when they finished their recording session, the other guys had already left discord in favor of their own beds, leaving only him and Ohm left in the call.

It wasn't often that he would stay after they finished recording, eager instead to flop face first onto his bed to let sleep consume him, but sometimes it was nice to just chat with his friends, away from the topic of YouTube, as he waited for himself to get sleepy. 

Currently, Ohm was telling him all about his new dog, Tiny, about how much of a menace he was, and that the American had already lost 2 pairs of shoes to him.

He was content to simply listen to Ohm, to listen to the multitude of stories about his life, only giving a small laugh or grunt when expected so that the older man knew he was still there.

Truth be told he liked listening to Ohm, his smooth voice, when not screaming down the mic, was quick to soothe him, and late at night could easily lull him to sleep. In fact, he'd been the one to put the idea of starting a podcast into Ohms' head, totally not for the reason that on particularly restless nights he could listen to the older man to help calm him.

Although, his love wasn't just exclusive to his voice, the other noises and moans Ohm made also had a special place in his heart, his growing archive of 52 various clips he'd taken from recordings were proof of that, made even better when he knew he was the one to get the older man into his giggly state.

"Ev? You still there?"

Ohms' voice brought him back to awareness, silently cursing his fucked-up sleep schedule as he rubbed his eyes in an effort to wake himself up a bit more.

"I guess you're asleep then" he heard Ohm huff a laugh at that and he couldn't stop the side of his own mouth quirking up into its own small smile. "I'll speak to you later then Evan. G'night"

"Wait, Ohm, I'm still here, I was just, err, grabbing a glass of water" his voice was thick with sleep, giving away his lie, and he's sure if he could see Ohm, the older man would be giving him a disapproving look.

He let out a long, quiet sigh as he put his head in his hands, he hated his need to have the older man keep talking with him, but, what else could he say? Please stay and talk to me longer because your voice comforts me? That was a sure-fire way to make things awkward between them.

"Evan, everything okay?" The worry was evident in Ohms' voice, in truth he probably wasn't okay, he felt stretched thin and at breaking point, but if he was good at anything it was lying to himself.

"Yeah 'm fine Ohm" He heard a sigh on the other side of the call and was immediately brought back to his youth where he used to hear that same sigh just before his parents would chastise him. 

"I'm worried about you Evan..."

"Well I promise I'm fine Ohm, there's nothing to worry about-"

"As I was saying, I think you're overworking yourself. You're doing your music and YouTube and I can see the strain it's having on you; I don't have to see you to know that it's starting to tear you down." 

There was then a brief pause, almost as If Ohm was going to say something else but then decided against it. He was speechless, his mouth just opening and closing a couple of times as he processed what the older man told him. When he had no answer forthcoming, Ohm spoke again, a much softer edge to his tone.

"Listen, Evan, I care for you, a lot. You're a great friend, funny and caring and all around a great guy. Not to mention how good a content creator you are and that your music is fucking awesome, but you need to know when to take a backseat."

He felt tears begin to brim his eyes, and as much as he wanted to deny it, to bid farewell to the masked gamer so that he could carry on with his life lying to himself, he simply couldn't. 

At least, not when it was Ohm, someone he cared for far too much to simply be considered a friendship, saying it so bluntly to him. But even so, he couldn't stop his work, he had fans counting on his videos and demands to meet by his manager. 

"I'm not saying you need to stop YouTube or your music, just slow it down a bit, take it easy, and look after yourself"

His head was racing through Ohms' words, leaving him unable to say anything else but a simple 'Goodnight Ohm' before ending the call. He's sure he can feel the older man's frown through his screen and sure enough a minute later he sees a notification from their private chat.

Take care of yourself, Evan, I mean it >:(

The Canadian smiled a little at the message, he knew he'd been a bit of a dick to Ohm, but he was only trying to look out for him after all, the man was too caring for his own good. 

Typing out a quick reply of 'you too' he then shut off his setup and slowly made his way to his bedroom with a conscious effort having to be made to not trip over the bits of clothing he had littered on his floor. 

He didn't even bother changing into comfier clothes, instead, he simply fell onto his bed and hugged one of his pillows tight against himself, thankful that sleep, however restless, was quick to come.

**********

His alarm was what woke him up that morning, only letting out a groan as he rolled over to turn it off. He then sat up in bed he rubbed at his head to try and make better the headache he felt coming on, and when that didn't work he dug in his bedside drawer until he found a couple of Ibuprofens to take dry. 

As if on autopilot he got out of bed and discarded his clothes, cringing slightly at the fact that he had chosen to seep in them all night, before he went for his shower, only he just stood there under the water, too tired to do much else.

He made the brief mental note to do his laundry later as he put on what was probably his last clean set of clothes. As he made his way to the kitchen he ignored the plates piled high in the sink and the takeout boxes littered everywhere in favor of grabbing the last few slices of pizza he had left from the night before out of the fridge. 

As he slowly chewed at his makeshift breakfast he began scrolling through his phone, quickly noting that one of his discord chats was open so decided to catch up on that first, and he couldn't help but feel his heart sink a little at the first message.

 

Sweaties:

Ohm: Sorry guys I'm gonna bail tonight, had a family emergency come up ☹

Moo: Sorry to hear that I hope everything's okay.

Ohm: Yeah just an old friend of mine got sick all of a sudden, it's supposed to be quite serious so I'm gonna go check up on him tonight.

Moo: Well I hope everything goes alright and remember we're here if you need us.

Nogla: Yeah I hope your friends alright but don't worry I'll be sweaty enough for the both of us, it'll be like your actually here.

Ohm: Wish I could've sent you my world-famous sweatpants XD

Brian: Ugh

Brian: I hope your friends alright Ohm but Nogla's sweaty enough as is without compensating for you.

Moo: As if you're not already the sweatiest one here Brian.

Ohm: XD

Nogla: :'D

Brian has left the chat

Evan: Hope your friend's alright Ohm, let us know if you need anything :)

With that, he shut his phone off and left to start his long walk into town for a meeting about what he planned to do next in regards to his music. He'd briefly thought about calling an Uber but decided the fresh air would actually do him good. 

He made his way to the building almost as if he was in a trance, too preoccupied in his thoughts, or more specifically what Ohm had told him last night. Even throughout the meeting all he does is make the odd note, instead letting his manager do most of the talking as he let his mind wander.

It was early afternoon when he started making the journey home, in the back of his mind he noted that he needed to do a grocery shop, quickly rejecting that thought as he was reminded how much easier it was to simply order in food. He knew it wasn't good for him, that his lifestyle as a whole was dire, but he couldn't bring himself to care at that moment.

When he got home he chucked his keys onto the kitchen table and threw his jacket onto the nearest chair, quickly discarding his shoes as he made his way to the couch where he started to flick through various channels until he found some thriller to watch. 

It wasn't long before his lack of sleep made itself known, and try as he might to stay awake, his eyes felt too heavy to try and fight it and he soon fell asleep.

**********

He woke up to knocking on his front door, and after having rubbed the sleep from his eyes, cautiously made his way towards the door, unknowing what to expect given that he wasn't expecting anyone, as shown by the atrocious state of his studio.

He quickly peeked at his phone, 6:52 pm, he felt the beginnings of panic begin to settle in, he hadn't meant to sleep that long, in fact, he only had around an hour left before he was supposed to be recording. 

Another knock on his door brought him out of his train of thought, quickly rubbing at his face and combing a hand through his hair to try and look at least somewhat presentable. 

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see a somewhat rugged man about the same height as him with cheeks red after being out in the cold, smiling softly at him. 

He wasn't going to deny that the guy was good looking, he had soft hazel doe eyes and his trimmed beard framed his face nicely. He had what looked like soft brown hair which was currently sticking out in various directions he's sure was caused by the wind and some part of him for whatever strange reason wanted to comb his hand through the man's hair.

However, the sound of the man in front of him clearing his throat took him out of his musings, unable to stop the red that colored his cheeks at having been caught staring at the other man. 

Through sheer will power he looked back up to meet the other man's gaze, and whilst he expected to find anger or annoyance, it seemed the man didn't mind the attention, a smile still on his face and mirth in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, can I help you with something?" The man simply lifted his arm a little bit and his eyes fell to see the pizza box in his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't order any food"

Evan began to feel trepidation towards the whole scenario, the guy didn't look like a delivery driver, and yet here he was on his front doorstep having not said a single word and made no move to leave.

"Who said it was for you? I'm fucking starving, although if you ask me nicely I could be persuaded to share" There was no denying who's voice that belonged and try as he might, he couldn't stop his jaw from dropping as he tried to come to terms with the fact that Ohm was here, now, in front of him. "Ev, your corridor is freezing, is it alright for me to come in?"

Mouth still open he simply opened the door wider to allow Ohm to come inside, suitcase in tow, before the older man was trying to make space on the kitchen counter to put the pizza box down. 

Seeing Ohm try to navigate the mess that was his kitchen quickly made him flustered, the fact that he was meeting Ohm for the first time and that his first impression was seeing how bad his living situation actually was only affirmed what the older man had told him last night.

He quickly moved towards the counter, picking up the empty takeout containers and shoving them haphazardly into the bin even though it didn't make his kitchen look much better.

"What're you doing here, Ohm? How are you here? How'd you even know where I live? What about your friend?" He couldn't stop the onslaught of questions that spilled out of him, too caught up in the whole situation.

"I asked a couple of the guys where you lived, took a bit of persuading and some sort of lifetime deal to Brian, but here I am. I was worried about you, so I decided I'd come see you myself, make sure you were doing alright. Although your flat Eva-"

"I know, I live like shit, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? And whilst I appreciate you made the journey here; I really would've preferred you call first; do you know how embarrassing it is for me for you to see me living like this?" 

He didn't mean to snap like that, he knew Ohm was doing this because he cared for him, but it still felt like a jab at his pride that the other man had to see him in such a low place.

"If you were taking care of yourself like you should be, then you wouldn't have been in this situation to begin with." 

He was surprised at how angry Ohm seemed to be about his predicament, but he was tired to argue now, all the fight having left him as soon as it had come. 

"Look, Evan, I know it's hard dealing with all this shit on your own, trust me I've been there, and I knew you'd be too stubborn to ever ask for help which is why I flew my ass down here." It was then that Ohm closed the distance between them, placing his hands on his shoulders in a sign of support "I'm just trying to look out for you, please, just let me help you"

"Up here."

"What?"

"You flew your ass up here you mean, you see Canada is above America, therefore, you'd have to fly up to be here"

Ohm just stared at him before he started to laugh, any tension between them quickly melted away and he found himself moving forward to bring the older man into a tight hug. The older man indulged his need for closeness by pulling him closer against him in a show of comfort before pulling away, a smile wide on his face.

"Right, I'm gonna need some help finishing this pizza so you best be hungry, I hope pepperoni's alright?"

"Sure, you want a drink? I've got a couple of beers in the fridge if you want one?"

"I'm good thanks, I came prepared" Ohm then gave him a wink as he grabbed the pizza and his rucksack before making his way to the couch, hating how he can feel his face heat up from the action. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts he grabbed a beer from the fridge and joined his friend on the couch. Even now he couldn't help but stare at Ohm, still in utter disbelief that the man was actually here in front of him. 

However, his eyes are quickly drawn down to the now open rucksack and he can't help but laugh at the sight, causing the other man to look at him.  
"Please don't tell me that's what I think it is"

Ohm only laughed as he took out one of the many cans of drink he had packed into his bag.

"Told you I came prepared, nobody else ever has Brisk Iced Tea so I have to take it into my own hands"

"You're something special Ohm, I'll give you that"

They sat there talking and laughing with one another for a while, simply enjoying the other's company. He found himself often stealing glances at the man, fearing that in the blink of an eye he'd be gone. Not to mention that Ohm was a lot better looking than any image he had come up with, allowing himself to indulge and properly appreciate the man beside him. 

It was about 8 pm when he pulled out his phone, pulling up discord to send a quick message to the guys that he was gonna bail on recording for the next few days to instead take some time for a much-needed break. 

He expected to receive a couple of small jabs about it, but all of them were nothing but supportive and at that moment he couldn't have wished for better friends. 

He then pulled up Twitter and posted a similar message for his fans, thankful when he saw an outpouring of support for his decision. He couldn't hold back a smile when he noticed Ohm, who was just in the bathroom, like and leave his own comment of support.

"You know I'm right here, you don't have to post on my twitter, you nerd."

Ohm laughed as he sat back down next to Evan "First of all, I wear the term nerd as a badge of honor" He could only scoff at that "and secondly, of course, I'm going to support you online. Would you rather I tell them that I'm on your couch whilst you're drooling over me? That'd start up the fanfictions" 

In a matter of seconds, his face was bright red from embarrassment, having thought he'd been discrete in his observations, but the smirk Ohm was aiming at him said otherwise.

"I don't mind you staring at me Ev, it's a lot to take in, Luke was the same when I first met him." Ohms' words reassured Evan a little, the older man sending him a small smile before he turned back to the Tv.

"You know, there's already fanfiction about us" He regretted saying it as soon as he said it, silently beating himself up in his head, why on earth couldn't he keep his mouth shut.

Ohm turned to him with a curious look on his face, his eyes gleaming in a way that he couldn't quite make out but got lost in all the same.

"Any good?"

He couldn't help but widen his eyes in surprise at the fact that Ohm was playing into it, but he was quick to gain back his composure and aim his own smirk towards the older man. 

"I've enjoyed the ones I've read, but I don't think you'd enjoy them as much"

"Oh yeah, why's that?" Ohm now turned his body to face him, a smirk teasing at his lips, and it felt like they were teetering on the edge of something between them.

"Because you're my bottom bitch in all of them" Ohms' eyes widened in reply, his face turning bright red as all he could do was laugh.

"No way. I'm older, wiser, and more experienced, if anything you should be the bottom bitch" Ohm was still flustered as he stuttered out his response, but he was still laughing at the older man trying to defend his authority.

"Is this your way of saying I've got a nice ass?" At that Ohm averts his gaze away from him, his face going an even darker shade of red, and a small part of him rejoices at the fact that Ohm finds him somewhat attractive.

"Look, Ohm, clearly the fans know what they're talking about. I can send you the links if you want, but the facts don't lie" His laughter had since died down even as the American tried to stutter out some sort of answer, his face still bright red.

"Send me the links then" Now it was his turn to panic, he hadn't expected Ohm to follow through on his remark and he couldn't seem to formulate a response. How was he supposed to say that he couldn't send links of stories of them which had himself fucking his friend, to said friend in front of him.

Luckily, Ohm seemed to sense his discomfort and put a reassuring hand onto his knee, trying to ignore what felt like a jolt of electricity go through him at the innocent touch, the older man seemingly unaware of the effect he had on him. 

"I'm joking Ev, besides, I've read most of them anyway" Now it was his turn to be shocked but for a completely different reason and he's sure he's starting to go crazy. 

He's questioning whether he'd actually heard that or not, at the fact that his friend implied he'd read about them having sex with each other, but before he could question it any further Ohm stood up, wishing him a good night before heading to the guest room he'd prepared for him.

He stayed on the couch a little while longer to try and work out what had just happened between them. He's not going to lie when he says he may have had a small crush on the masked gamer, and him turning up on his doorstep seemed to have only increased it tenfold. 

Was this Ohms way of saying he felt the same? 

He tried not to think too much more about it as he made his way to his own room, stripping down to his boxers before collapsing on top of the bed. It took a while to quiet his racing thoughts long enough to sleep, only for his dreams to be plagued by a certain man who was in the room next to him.


	2. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the first part, it honestly means the world to me <3
> 
> Are the characters a bit OOC, probably :/ but nevertheless I hope you enjoy :D

Once again he was woken up by his phone’s alarm going off, letting out a curse as he reached out in an attempt to grab it. However, in his attempt to get his phone his hand hit something else, something cool that now sounded like it threatened to topple over.

He opened his eyes now more alert and saw a glass of water on his bedside and he quickly furrowed his brows as he tried to figure out how the water got there when it most definitely wasn’t there last night.

Deciding to forgo the mysterious drink he reached forward with a sigh to finally turn off his alarm and rubbed at his face a little in an attempt to wake himself up, even as he was yawning. There was perhaps a second of conflict where he tried to talk himself of the benefits of getting up early, but it was short-lived, and he quickly gave into his body’s craving and climbed back under his warm covers.

He’d just closed his eyes now that he was finally settled comfortably back in his bed until he heard the sounds of movement outside his door. For a moment he thought that somebody had broken into his studio, but it was then he heard a couple of muttered swears filter through his door and that’s when yesterday’s events flooded his mind.

With the reminder that Ohm was currently staying with him, he quickly jumped out of bed and raced towards the door, flinging it open so fast it was almost comical, where he was met with Ohms’ back.

The older man was clad in nothing but a towel around his waist and he couldn’t help himself from watching as the droplets fell out of his hair and down his broad shoulders all the way until it was stopped by the towel that was hanging somewhat dangerously low on his hips.

He’d just watched two drops of water begin to race each other down the other mans’ back when a cough brought him out of his musings. He couldn’t help but turn red as he quickly averted his gaze to anything that wasn’t Ohm, but not before he saw the somewhat smug smile plastered on the other mans’ face. 

“Morn’in Ev, admiring the goods?” He was somewhat stunned by how deep Ohms’ voice was, almost as if he’d just woken up himself, cursing himself internally as he felt the faint stirrings of arousal curl in his lower stomach. 

For a moment he was caught off guard as he didn’t expect their somewhat flirty behavior to carry on from the previous night, yet he felt an almost sick thrill at the prospect that maybe he won’t have to hide his emotions for the older man quite so dearly.

“You know it,” He gave a quick wink to Ohm, feeling his chest puff up a little bit when he noticed the red tinge begin to cover the other mans’ face at his words. “although a couple more squats in the morning will tighten that ass right up”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little as Ohms’ face turned bright as it was his turn to avert his gaze, paying no mind to the warm feeling that began to spread throughout his chest as the older man began to giggle a little.

“Oh, please, you wish you could have an ass as good as mine” He huffed a laugh before pointedly looking down to Ohms’ ass, and he couldn’t lie that yeah, even wrapped around in a towel it still looked good, humming a little as if in thought before turning back to Ohm.

“I’m more of an admirer of fine goods than an owner” Again he winked at Ohm who’s face was now bright red, and he couldn’t take the smile off of his face even if he wanted to.

With a final small smile, Ohm finally turned to walk into his room, his eyes immediately casting down to once again look at the older man’s ass and he swears he’s swaying his hips a little too much as he’s walking. It’s then that Ohm stops and turns to him, he quickly glances up but from the slight smirk on Ohms’ face, he was caught staring.

“Breakfast should be ready in about 20 minutes, so I expect to see your ass down there,” Before he could argue about how he should be the one making breakfast, especially in the state his kitchen was in, Ohm interjected “Nice underwear by the way”

He looked down and was quickly stricken with horror to realize that yes he was in only his underwear and that it had to be his SpongeBob ones as well, a set that although were given to him as a gag gift, were surprisingly comfortable. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop the deep flush that spread to his chest as he quickly tried to cover himself with his hands to have some modicum of decency.

Ohm only laughed at his predicament, giving a final warning of 20 minutes before shutting the door to the spare and leaving him staring after him in the cold of the corridor. 

Cursing himself out he returned to his own room, discarding his underwear to be added to the other clothes that littered his floor as he grabbed a towel and made his way to the bathroom. 

Normally, he was content to put the absolute minimum effort into his shower, happy to simply stay under the hot water to clear his thoughts with only the occasional wash every few days, it’s not like he left his flat all that much anyway. But, now that Ohm was with him he wanted to look his best, making sure to take his time to wash through his hair twice and using some sort of fruity bath wash he has no memory of buying.

Content that he now looked and smelled semi-decent, he turned off the shower and returned to his room, letting out a sigh which quickly turned into a groan as he saw what was essentially the entire contents of his wardrobe scattered around the floor.

He moved towards his dresser, trying to find absolutely anything that was at least semi-clean. He pulled out a black T-shirt, one which was a size too small, but he preferred that than wearing one which hadn’t been washed in who knows how long. 

Besides, Ohm might enjoy the show. He put on his last pair of clean underwear before picking up his last decent set of trousers, some sweatpants, which although hadn’t been cleaned recently either, didn’t currently have the smell of death that his other clothes did.

He quickly rubbed the towel against his hair in an attempt to dry it, discarding it with the other clothes on the floor, before trying to tame his hair somewhat with his hands as he made his way towards the kitchen. Although, upon entering the living area, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

Gone were the odd bits of clothing strewn about the place and the takeout boxes which he was sure had started cultivating life. His shoes were neatly placed by his door and his jackets hung up above them, his keys now in a bowl on the table, and he couldn’t help but notice how much nicer it looked, how his environment really had been akin to a tip.

He saw Ohm in the kitchen, bobbing his head along to a song only he could hear, and some quiet humming could be heard accompanying it as he stood with his back to Evan. He also noted how his kitchen counter had been completely cleaned, gone were the towers of takeout containers which were now replaced with 2 plates half filled with food. His sink, for the first time in over a month, was empty, with piles of now cleaned plates and bowls waiting to be put away.

He’s not going to deny that Ohm was some sort of Godsend, having seemingly cleaned his studio at some point during the night, but a part of it irked him. He knew he was living like shit, but it was his job to clear and sort through it, not Ohm’s. He’d wished if anything Ohm had at least asked for help, that deep feeling of guilt settling in, that the first time the older man was ever seeing one of his close friends and he was having to mother him.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a hand waving in front of his face and was brought out of his thoughts to see worry coloring the eyes of the man in front of him. He put on a false smile so as not to worry the American, but by the briefest of looks that crossed Ohms’ face, he could tell that the older man wasn’t convinced. The only reassurance being that he knew Ohm would be nice enough not to ask him about it, or at least he hoped, not wanting to potentially end up in some sort of confrontation.

“You alright Ev? looked a little out of it for a bit, you drink the water I left you?” Well, that was the mystery of the water solved, but there was that worry again and whilst he somewhat enjoyed someone caring enough about to help look after, a small but ever-present and loud part of his brain was starting to get sick of all the worrying.

“Yeah ’m fine. Thanks for cleaning up and cooking Ohm, I do really appreciate it, but I just wished you’d asked me to come help. I don’t like thinking about how you did all this by yourself, especially when it’s not your problem to deal with it.”

“I was happy to do it, Ev, I just wanted to do something nice for you. Besides, I couldn’t get to sleep anyway, streaming schedules’ kinda fucked up my sleep” He heard Ohm fake a laugh in an attempt to ease some of the tension that seemed to have grown between them, one that wasn’t fooling either of them, and yet he couldn’t help but feel as if the air around him was getting thicker and more uncomfortable.

“Doing something nice for me is cooking breakfast, not cleaning my whole damn flat Ohm. I get you’re trying to help and all that, but I need to do this shit on my own, I don’t need someone to hold my hand all the goddamn time” He surprised himself at the venom in his own voice, and he felt himself regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth, and yet even with the countless apologies swirling through his head, it was almost as if he was no longer in control as his mouth refused to speak them.

“At least now I know what you’re like when you’re angry” Ohm huffed a laugh at that, one that lacked any ounce of happiness. “The reason I came here was to help you, Evan, so you wouldn’t have to do this on your own. Dealing through this shit is not a one-person job, trust me on that” He could hear the pain echoed in Ohms’ voice but try as he might it seemed his mouth was working on its own accord.

“I didn’t ask you to come here, Ohm, I didn’t ask you to try and ‘fix’ me” Even as he said those words it almost felt as if ice had begun to trickle into his chest, leaving him cold and empty, but even still his growing anger did little to dissipate.

“I came because I know you can’t work through this alone-“

“Says who? You? You didn’t even give me a chance to sort myself out before you invited yourself over, without my permission, all because you think you’re ‘all knowing’ and know what’s best for me, well you don’t Ohm”

He saw the flickering of what may have been anger flicker on Ohms’ face, whether it was aimed at him or at the situation in general he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to argue with the older man, he wanted them to get this off of their chests so that they could go back to what they had been earlier, two friends testing the boundaries of the other. However, a sick sense of dread began to rise up in him, giving a sense of finality about this whole argument, for good or ill.

“You’ve had months to sort yourself, Evan. Months. I wanted to say something sooner, but I thought you’d eventually get a grip on things, I blame myself for letting it get as bad as it did, I should’ve said something sooner, but I’m here, now, whether you like it or not, to help you. Please, let me help you”

Ohms’ hands came to rest on his shoulders as he spoke in a gesture of support, and he wanted to relax at the touch, to let go of all the stress and anger coiled in him like a spring, but he just couldn’t, and he was quick to shake off the offending limbs, hating the flash of hurt that crossed Ohms’ face as he did so.

“I didn’t ask for your help Ohm, and I didn’t ask you to come here to become my damn minder”

“Evan-“

“I don’t want to hear it Ohm” He let out with a sigh, all the fight leaving him almost as soon as it had come, leaving him hollow.

He saw Ohms’ face, which had previously held worry and care, become emotionless, and he can’t help but hate himself a little more for putting it there. 

“I guess there’s no point in me being here anymore then” 

He was helpless but to watch as Ohm walked past him and out of the kitchen, both his body and mind so detached from everything going on that he couldn’t will himself to do anything, even as he saw Ohm a moment later with his coat on and suitcase in tow.

He wanted to beg, to scream and cry, to plead with the older man not to leave him, that he truly did need his help and that he had no idea where to even begin to help himself, but even so his mouth may as well have been sealed shut given that he couldn’t force the words out.

“Ohm” It came out hoarse as if it carried all the emotions he was currently feeling, hoping to convey something to Ohm. However, the older man only gave him a passing glance before donning his rucksack as he left. The sound of his front door closing he’s sure will haunt him for months.

Every fiber of his being wants to run after him, to chase down the older man and do everything in his power to prevent Ohm from leaving him, but he was stuck standing in his kitchen as he felt the crushing weight of what had happened.

He feels tears begin to sting his eyes, although Ohm had only been here for a very short while, Evan had enjoyed his company, not realizing how lonely he had truly been. Sure, he played games with his friends but that was his job and done through a screen. 

He missed staying up late with someone, just talking about whatever random shit popped into their head, he missed seeing someone keel over in laughter at a joke he’d made and when someone would lean over to whisper their own musings to him.

Ohm had given him all of that and more, and now he was gone. Not to mention that he swears he can feel his heart tearing itself into shreds as he’s now lost one of the better things he had in his life. Now he didn’t know whether he’d ever be able to talk to the older man again, and the thought made him want to throw up.

In fact, it took Ohm leaving for him to realize just how he is not, in fact, okay, that he has never needed someone, anyone, more than he does now and he has no idea what the fuck to do anymore.

He doesn’t remember walking to his room, he just feels his face hit the pillow and quickly curls himself around one in some semblance of comfort, burying his face in an effort to and hide the tears now falling freely down his face.

He doesn’t know how long he cried for, doesn’t really care, but eventually, he reaches a point where he’s completely numb to all thought, now physically and mentally drained he can do nothing but close his eyes and try to sleep.

*********

A loud banging in his head is what brings him back to consciousness, at first he tries to ignore it, but to no avail. He quickly rubs at his eyes in an effort to alleviate some of the discomfort from the now constant pounding in his head, only it did nothing to help.

With a groan he sat up, ignoring the tear-stained pillow beside him as he grabbed a couple of Ibuprofen from his drawer to take with the water still by his bedside, wincing a little at the stale taste of it.

He’s not sure if it’s a placebo but the effects of the drugs seem almost instantaneous and he gently lay back in bed and closed his eyes as he waited for the banging to die down in the hopes of falling back to sleep, not caring what time it was.

However, it was a couple minutes more, when the banging was still as persistent as before that he realized it wasn’t his head screaming at him but that it was, in fact, someone banging at his front door.

It was almost automatic the way he got out of bed and slowly made his way to the door, not caring about his appearance, his mind still numb but for the brief musing that he may actually be losing it. 

He doesn’t know who or what to expect when he opened his door, but it certainly wasn’t Ohm, standing there with the pale light of the hallway behind him painting him almost as if he were an angel sent by God himself.

They stared at each other for a moment before Ohm raised his arms in lieu of a hug and he wasted no time in falling into the older man’s embrace. He clung onto the American as if he were a life preserve, and as he buried his face into Ohms’ neck he felt like he was taking his first real breath of air in a very long time. 

Ohm hung onto him just as tightly, rubbing gentle hands up and down his back, happy to stand there for as long as was needed to comfort him.

Eventually, they pulled apart, Ohm lifting his hands up to cup his face as his thumbs wiped away tears he didn’t even know had fallen, unconsciously he leaned into the touch, happy to feel their warmth after having been so long in the cold. 

He grasped Ohm’s wrists when he felt the older man start to pull away, wanting to keep that contact just a little bit longer, and Ohm seemed happy to oblige.

“I’m so sorry Ohm, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to say any of that shit, it just kinda came out. I tried to stop but it’s like I wasn’t in control anymore. Truth is, I’m not alright, I realize that now and I know I can’t do this alone; I don’t want to do this alone. Please, please stay?” Evans’s tear-filled eyes stared into bright hazel ones, a soft smile full of warmth accompanying them.

Without a word, Ohm leaned up and softly kissed Evans’ forehead, staying there a moment before he once again pulled Evan close against him.

“I’m not going anywhere Ev”


	3. New Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while huh? 
> 
> I know a lot of you really enjoy this fic and I will 100% finish it, don't worry, just thank you for being patient and still supporting me after all this time :D

He’s not sure how long they stood in the doorway, but eventually, he felt Ohm slowly pull away from him whilst also making sure he kept an arm tight around his waist as the older man turned to grab his suitcase and walked him back into his flat. 

They stopped briefly outside of the kitchen so that Ohm could drop off his suitcase, not questioning the reason why as in the next moment he was being guided towards his couch where he gladly collapsed on top of it, although he didn’t have a chance to relax as the other man didn’t join him and instead walked back over to his suitcase and lifted it up onto his counter.

He only had more questions as he saw Ohm open the case to reveal an array of different foods, feeling his stomach rumble a little at the sight of all the fresh food he could see, that he’s sure his body will finally thank him for, still watching as the other man continued to rummage through the items until he seemed to find what he’d been looking for and pulled it out with a shout. 

“I hope you don’t mind half melted Ben & Jerry’s” He smiled at the somewhat upset tone to Ohms’ voice, endeared at the fact the older man had even thought to buy him anything at all as he watched Ohm pick up a couple of spoons that were still left out from that morning before he returned to the couch with his prize in his hands.

He couldn’t help but laugh a little at the situation “The fuck you doing with half a grocery store in your suitcase Ohm, customs would’ve had a field day with you” He heard the other man laugh beside him as he opened the ice cream, Cookie Dough he noticed, before handing the tub to him with a spoon. 

“I was never gonna go you know” He paused with the spoon mid-way to his mouth, he could do nothing but stare and wonder at the man in front of him “I knew you didn’t mean the shit you said, figured you just needed some time to cool off so I walked around for a bit and did your grocery shopping because you had literally nothing of nutritional value here Ev”

His face turned red slightly as he then looked down at the ice cream in his hands, choosing finally to eat what was on his spoon before it had a chance to melt onto his lap before he thought of what he was going to say next.

“Thank you for staying Ohm, I know I don’t deserve you as a friend, but I truly appreciate all you’ve done for me” It was said so quietly he almost didn’t hear himself say it, looking up slightly to see the other man smiling softly at him and he’d never felt more like a kid than in this moment.

Ohm simply rubbed his hair harshly a few times, unable to prevent the weird squawk he let out as he quickly batted the older man’s hand away which only made him laugh instead, and he swore his heartfelt just that little bit lighter at the sound.

“First of all, enough of that ‘I don’t deserve this, don’t deserve that’ bullcrap. I became your friend because you’re a hard worker and dedicated to your craft and your fans. You’re also kind, caring and one of the most genuine creators out there. You’re doing great Ev, don’t diminish yourself and your achievements, not everyone can do what you’ve done”

He couldn’t help the blush that started to color his cheeks as he was left speechless after Ohms’ praise, his throat thick with emotion that meant he could only offer the other man an appreciative smile as his thanks before returning to the tub of ice cream still melting his hands.

“Like I said last night, I’m older and wiser, I’ve been through all this shit before” He could feel a smile tug at his lips as his mind was brought back to the previous night, offering a roll of the eyes at the comment but before he could say anything else Ohm spoke up again “Why the fans then decide to make me the bottom bitch is beyond me and frankly rude” 

The other man had barely been able to finish his sentence before he’d started giggling, and he was caught so off guard by it that he couldn’t stop the small laugh that left him and ultimately resulted on him choking on the ice cream he’d been trying to eat, and which then caused a still laughing Ohm to half-heartedly pat his back in an effort to stop him from choking.

When the threat to his life was gone he finally allowed himself to laugh a little, but not one to be outdone he quickly made his rebuttal and test the boundary between the two of them “Why’re you so obsessed about being the top? Worried I won’t call you daddy if you’re the catcher?” Now it was his turn to laugh as Ohms’ face turned a ridiculously bright shade of red, his eyes looking anywhere in the room but at Evan and he couldn’t help but feel that there may have been some sort of truth in his words.

“Right, that’s enough ice-cream for you” The older man grabbed the tub from him as he stood from the couch, still avoiding looking towards him as he pointed towards the kitchen “I’m gonna start dinner, be about half an hour, try and behave please” 

With that, the other man seemed to nod at himself before he walked to the kitchen, but he was unable to keep the smug look from his face as he called out “Okay daddy” and laughed a little too much when he heard Ohm drop something and the curse that quickly followed it.

Now that his life wasn’t crashing down around him with quite the same intensity as a few hours ago he decided he’d do something productive and headed towards his bedroom, casting a brief glance towards the kitchen before he turned into the hallway and noted Ohms’ eyes dart away from him and carry on pretending as if he hadn’t been caught. 

The fact brought a small smile to his face which was quickly diminished upon sight of his room, and he could do nothing but groan and stand there assessing the damage. 

Finally, after much internal debate, he decided to just get on with it as he quickly cleared a space in the corner before gradually working his way through his room, chucking clothes either onto the dark or not dark pile, and after taking far longer than it should have to sort laundry he could finally admire his handy work, his room looking a hundred times better already.

After taking a moment to catch his breath he grabbed an armful of clothes from the dark pile and carefully made his way to the kitchen where his washer happened to be, constantly looking behind him to make sure he didn’t leave a stray sock behind.

Ohm smiled at him briefly as he made way for him to get through the kitchen and as much as he tried he couldn’t make out what the other man was cooking, but whatever it was smelled fucking delicious and his hunger quickly made itself known by the rumbling of his stomach.

He heard Ohm chuckle at the sound before offering him a small smile “Food’ll be done in a few minutes, go wash up and get a couple of plates ready please”

Eager to help he quickly went to the sink, washing his hands with water before half-heartedly drying them on the nearest tea towel, ignoring the disapproving look he could feel boring into the back of his head as he instead burrowed through his draws for some cutlery and plates before placing them down on the counter behind Ohm. 

As soon as he’d put them down the other man had turned around with the pan in his hand and made a quick task of distributing the food between the two plates.

He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d had a proper food, let alone a fresh stir fry, but he couldn’t hide his eagerness as he quickly scooped up a plate when Ohm had turned back around to put the pan down, grabbing one of the forks he heaped as much food as he could onto it before shoving it into his mouth. 

He just about moaned at how good it tasted, quickly swallowing it down so that he could get another forkful, but just as he lifted his head to compliment the other man’s cooking, all he saw was Ohm standing there with a somewhat disapproving look on his face. 

“No eating in the kitchen, go on, go sit at the table” He avoided Ohms’ hands trying to shoo him away as he made his way to the small table that acted as his dining room, a part of him noting at how domestic he and Ohm had become after having been together barely a day and enjoying the feel of it for a moment before quickly pushing it to the back of his mind to deal with later.

The other man was quick to join him, digging into his own food as they both ate in comfortable silence, casting small glances at one another when they thought the other wasn’t looking, the air between them almost palpable but he wasn’t sure what that meant just yet.

It wasn’t long before he’d cleared his plate, watching as the other man still ate for a moment before offering him his thanks “That was amazing Ohm, I may have to make you my personal chef after that”

He noticed Ohm blush a little at his praise and quickly decided he enjoyed that look on the other man, probably a lot more than he ought too, and that he wanted to see it even more.

“You know you can call me Ryan, right?” Now it was his turn to blush a little as he realized he hadn’t used the man’s real name once in the whole time that he’d been there and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat mortified at the fact.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m so used to calling you Ohm that I kinda forgot you had an actual name” He couldn’t help the sheepish smile that he offered to the other man, or the small awkward chuckle that accompanied it, but Ohm simply chuckled at the fact. 

“Don’t sweat it man, I don’t mind you calling me Ohm if you want, if anything I’m more used to that now” With that the older man began to start to clear the table but he was quick to intercept and stop the other man’s efforts.

“I’ll clean up Oh… Ryan, don’t worry about it” Despite that though Ohm still tried to make a move to clean up and this time he had to physically put his hands on the other man’s hips to prevent him from walking towards the kitchen, dirty plates in hand.

His mind quickly got distracted as soon as he touched Ohm, despite the layer of clothing between them he could’ve sworn his hands were burning from their contact and he itched to venture his hand towards the slight bit of exposed skin on Ohms’ hip, but the other man trying to move from his grip quickly brought him back to attention.

“You’d better stay in this chair whilst I clear up Ryan or so help me I will tie you to it” He simply stood there, his stare almost challenging the other man to not follow through as he waited for Ohm to hand the plates over.

“Is that a promise?”

He couldn’t help but note the smile that looked far too smug on the other man’s face as the plates were slowly handed to him, leaning his head forward just a little bit more before returning with his own sly smile “You bet your perky ass it is”

Both of them stood there for a moment longer, but as he moved to try and get even closer to the other man he was reminded of the plates still in his hand so simply gave the other man a wink before he turned towards the kitchen.

He’d just put the plates in the sink when he saw Ohm walking towards him, and as much as he tried to block the other man from coming in, Ohm simply wrapped his arms around him and brought him into a bear hug almost before he was lifted up and moved until he suddenly found himself being dropped outside the kitchen with Ohm now in it, all the while trying to tell himself that he most definitely wasn’t into the physical display of strength from the other man.

“Before you kick up a hissy fit I’m not here to clean” He simply watched as Ohm rummaged through his suitcase again, unable to do much else but stand there, arms crossed as he thought on whether he had anything he could use to tie up the older man in front of him, whilst also trying not to enjoy the visuals that came with that thought. 

“Ah hah” Ohm then turned to face him as saw as the other man pull a few plastic containers out of his case before showing them to him “I made extra food to put in these so you can have something whenever you don’t feel like cooking”

At that moment he could almost cry as he saw the bright smile that lit up Ohms’ face, swearing that the other man was some sort of angel as he also swore to himself to try and see that smile more often.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” It was almost like his brain to mouth filter had just vanished, and normally it would have him wish for the floor to swallow him up, but he didn’t mind it too much when he saw the light blush across Ohms’ cheeks.

He slowly, almost cautiously, took a step closer to the other man to separate the already small gap between them, both of them staring at each other as if waiting for something to happen, they just couldn’t quite put their finger on what though. 

In the corner of his eye, he saw Ohm put the containers on the counter, the other man never breaking his gaze until they were almost chest to chest. 

He let out an exhale as he saw Ohm wet his lips, unable to stop staring at them as he unconsciously licked his own, looking up guiltily at having unapologetically stared at the other man’s lips only to see Ohm staring down at his own mouth before the older man quickly looked up to meet his gaze again, his pupils wide with what he was hoping was lust. 

Unconsciously they started to move their heads closer together, eyes still transfixed on one another until their lips were only a few millimetres apart, breaths held as they moved ever closer and he swore he could feel the ghost of Ohms’ lips already on his until they were interrupted by a ringtone going off, both of them quickly breaking apart and avoiding the others gaze as Ohm reached for the phone in his pocket.

He couldn’t stop himself from staring after the other man as he moved towards the living room to answer his call, raking a hand through his hair as he tried to shake off whatever just happened between the two of them, only allowing himself to stare for a moment longer before he turned back around to finish cleaning up after their dinner.

As hard as he tried to keep himself busy, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from racing after everything that had happened over the last couple of days, eventually giving up trying to clean the countertop for the fifth time before he joined Ohm on the couch, who was currently scrolling through his tv, leaving on some rom-com as he chucked the remote towards him.

Ohm rubbed his face as he sighed and he was already expecting the worse before the other man even had a chance to speak “So, I was planning on staying here about a week, but something’s come up with my dog sitter and I have to leave in a couple of days”

He let out the breathe he’d been holding, part of him having thought that Ohm was about to say that he regretted almost kissing him, that their friendship was going to be over, but although he felt relief that their relationship was seemingly unaffected, it was short-lived as he realized that his time with Ohm would be over soon, trying to ignore the ache that started to build in his chest. 

“Guess we better do something kick-ass tomorrow” Ohm simply hummed in agreement, both of them leaning back against the couch, feigning watching the Tv as they both tried to ignore the elephant in the room.

They sat in silence for most of the evening, until at some point he fell asleep where he may or may not have used it as an excuse to lean his head against Ohms’ shoulder, having decided he was going to try and get as much contact with the man before he left.

He was woken up when he felt himself being jostled, blearily opening his eyes to see Ohm lift him from the couch and barely making out the fact they were going to his room.

“Wha?” He felt more than heard Ohms’ chuckle at his sleepy acknowledgment. 

“Go back to sleep Ev, ‘m just carrying your fat ass to bed for you”

He couldn’t help but smile at the comment, too tired to even think about what he was saying before it was said “Only person with a fat ass here is you Ohm”

“You know it” Again he felt Ohm chuckle but in the next moment, he felt himself being laid down in what he recognized was his bed and the blanket was wrapped around him. 

As Ohm started to move away, for the second time that day he reached out for him, holding onto the older man’s arm to prevent him from leaving.

“Please stay?” He internally cringed at the desperation he could hear in his own voice and yet he’s glad he said it and put his cards on the table.

“Ev, I don’t know if that’s…”

“Promise I don’ snore”

He could almost hear Ohm think for the next few seconds and it was with a sigh from the other man that he knew he’d won, and he couldn’t keep the small smile from his face. 

“Yeah okay, just lemme go get changed”. 

Happy with the answer he let his hand fall from Ohm, allowing sleep to pull him under again at least until he heard the sound of his bedroom door shutting, opening his eyes a little to barely make out Ohms’ figure getting closer to him, and the blue plaid PJ’s he was wearing.

He didn’t even care when the words “You look cute” fell from his lips, but it was worth it when, even in the darkness, he’s sure he can make out the blush on the other man’s face.

He pat the space on the bed next to him, inviting Ohm to join him and soon he felt the bed dip slightly as the other man joined him, and whilst the other man was apparently content to stay on his side of the bed, staying as far from him as possible, that’s not what he had in mind.

Instead, he turned over until he was curled up against Ohms’ chest, hearing a slight sound of shock before the other man seemed to accept his fate and he felt an arm wrap around him, holding him closer against the older man.  
“G’night Ev”

“Night Ohm”

With that, he buried his face into Ohms’ neck and finally let sleep take him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter
> 
> As always you can follow me on Tumblr (cinnamohm-roll) as I tend to post stuff there first.


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